I wasn’t going to write about this today.
I went back to my October 2018 journal in search of something I’d written regarding empty jars and abundant oil, but I found the following instead. And oh, how it’s calling my name.
If it’s okay with you, I’d like to simply share this journal-find because it’s bringing me hope.
October 25, 2018
“This morning something surprising happened …
Two days ago, Drew came over to interview me about mentoring, an assignment for his doctoral program. At the end of our time together he casually asked if I’d ever considered becoming a spiritual director.
For numerous reasons, I dismissed his question.
Today, though, this morning in Sacred Space, it came back. I feel like Drew noticed the edge of something hidden under the carpet, reached for it and held it out to me. This question, as an invitation.
“Have I considered this?” Drew asked. Um, Yes! In fact, I’ve longed for the training for a good 10-years now! I took steps toward it but it was snatched away by the circumstances of life. I reached again, and then yet again, but it fell to the ground and was kicked out of reach by wounding words of those who didn’t see.
And so there it has lain. Out of my hands and then out of my reach. Until Drew’s question.
“Is this yours?” he seemed to ask. “I found it on the floor.”
“No,” I said, convinced by now that it wasn’t.
But maybe it is?
It can be hard to hope sometimes.
It feels like when the Apostle Paul was shipwrecked and so much was thrown overboard and lost (Acts 27). What was theirs was no longer theirs, out of their hands and out of their reach in this dark, stormy time. Hope & courage succumbed to the sea as well – until – until – until, the angel came and picked them up and presented them to Paul.
“Are these yours?” the angel seemed to ask Paul, “I found them at the bottom of the storm-swept sea.”
This morning, this invitation feels significant. I want to say, “Why, Yes! As a matter of fact, that IS mine,” but I tremble at the taking of it. Will it be washed away yet again?
I recognize that this is a desire that’s been diminished & dismissed. First by others, and then, I’m terribly sorry to say, by me, myself & I.”
Funny, the timing of this 3-1/2 year old journal entry because just yesterday (I kid you not!), I scheduled a phone call with the head of a spiritual direction program, and tomorrow, we’re talking about all the possibilities. How very like God to put these journaled words into my hands in the day in-between!
Perhaps with your support through the fundraiser, I’ll be able to enroll in this school and take these steps forward. If so, the fulfillment of this dream would coincide with my 60th birthday (3-years from now). I think that’s a pretty good birthday gift?. A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul. Or as the Passion Translation puts it:
“When God fulfills your longings, sweetness fills your soul.”
How perfect for both the fundraiser and the fulfillment of a dream.
This Sunday, sweeten your soul or the soul of a friend by visiting The Lancaster Sweet Shoppe.
Resurrected Hope: Our Little Life Words of the week.
- What dream feels out of you hands or out of your reach?
- Has anyone ever held out a dream to you that you thought had been lost?
- Join in on the fundraiser this Sunday. As you enjoy your sweets, know you’re also sweetening my soul by helping to fulfill a long-held dream.
- Our song of the week is: Sweet Surrender by none other than John Denver.
- Tell God one of your (lost) longings.
May resurrected hope sweeten your soul this week, my friend.